“I think I might be pregnant,” I told the doctor. “No, I don’t think you are,” he replied! I often suffered with stomach problems in Mexico, but this time it got so bad that I finally decided to go see a doctor. I figured I had parasites again and since the prescribed medicine for that was very strong, I was concerned about taking it if I was indeed pregnant, but doctor convinced me to take the medicine, and I completed the treatment.
Then I found out that I was pregnant! Oh, the guilt and anguish that flooded my soul. I had been told that taking the parasite medicine while pregnant resulted in severe birth defects. Miserably I had the same thoughts over and over: “My baby is going to be born with serious problems, and IT IS ALL MY FAULT!”
I felt so bad that I told Jacinto not to tell anyone that we were expecting our fourth child. I didn’t even tell my parents. For four long months no one knew not even our other children. I felt so guilty. I was so scared. I refused to go to the doctor because I did not want to hear him say that I had caused my child to have severe physical disabilities. I carried my burden of fear around with me everywhere I went, every minute of every day.
One morning I was reading my devotions and a verse literally jumped off the page and smacked me between the eyes: “They will have NO FEAR OF BAD NEWS; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” (Psalm 112:7) That was exactly what I had been doing–fearing bad news and not trusting the Lord! I knew that God had spoken to me, and I knew what I had to do.
I told Jacinto I was finally ready to go see a doctor, and we made an appointment. I promised the Lord I would stop fearing and imagining the worst-case scenarios and would trust Him no matter what the doctor said.
So we went to the doctor’s office. As the doctor examined me, I told him about taking the parasite medicine before realizing I was pregnant. He questioned me as to the dates I had taken the pills, and then said, “You took the pills at the very beginning of your pregnancy when there was no placenta so the medicine was not passed on to your baby. There is NOTHING wrong with your baby!!!!”
Sitting right there in the chair in the doctor’s office, I was filled with joy and said, “Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!” over and over. The doctor looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care! I was too busy praising the Lord that He had taken care of my baby and that I had not harmed him after all!
I was sooooo happy, but then I realized I had wasted four months of my life living miserably, scared and agonizing over something that never happened! I spent four long months fearing bad news instead of trusting in the Lord.
Five months later Josue Lemuel Aguilar entered this world with no health problems whatsoever! Josh will be 21 this November 25th. He is our Thanksgiving baby, and we thank the Lord for His goodness in protecting Joshua’s health in the womb.
The future is always uncertain, and there are so many horrible possibilities. It is easy to let our imaginations run wild and spend endless hours fretting over possible outcomes. How much better to make a conscious decision not to fear what we cannot control but to trust the One who is in control of every detail of our lives.